I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
