the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When are your genitals available?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
