happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
