He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize