forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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