I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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