dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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