TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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