Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
