at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
