Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
