i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
