I got chris browned last night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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