Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
