Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
