you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
