New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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