You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
