How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
