how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
