He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
