its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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