I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
honey bunches of taint.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
