I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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