Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
