Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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