Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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