Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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