ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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