dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
