I love black thongs
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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