I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
