I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
