I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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