watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
