and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
