I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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