Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
