party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
