Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
