4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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