guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish i was in the wii world.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
