i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
well you can't waste a boner
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
