Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
