You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
