there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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