she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
