i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
