I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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