Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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