he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
